


it's not all butterflies and rainbows

by sunshinetae



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Manic Episode, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, honestly very heavy, idk how to tag, im scared to post this but here it is anyway, implied hyungwonho if you squint, minhyuk centric, not sure if this is even considered angst actually but probably at times, psychotic tendencies, the title is irrelevant tbh, tried to make it realistic but not too detailed, wonho makes a quick cameo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 15:37:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7058602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinetae/pseuds/sunshinetae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Minhyuk struggles with bipolar disorder, among other things, and he doesn't want to put the burden on Hyunwoo. Sometimes, he can't do it alone, and he learns that it's okay to ask for help.</p><p>(also in which I suck at summaries and titles and talk to much in the notes sections, sorry)</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's not all butterflies and rainbows

**Author's Note:**

> hi um yeah so this happened?? this is a thing where minhyuk has type one bipolar disorder, and it's kind of about what it's like being in a relationship while you're struggling through that, at least from my perspective. i know, it's a heavy topic. but it's what i know, and i wanted to write about it. so i wrote this little thing here, it's pretty short, but it's not meant to be long or detailed. it's just about one particular episode. originally i wanted to write a showhyuk fic, but in all honesty, this isn't even /really/ about showhyuk at all. it's very very minhyuk centric. so, sorry for the lack of showhyuk lmao 
> 
> my goal was to not romanticize these situations at all, but rather focus on the situation itself and how a person struggling with them feels toward their partner when in a relationship during it. i really, really hope i was able to portray it that way. and i hope it doesn't seem unrealistic to you, but if you don't know anything about bipolar disorder i can understand why you'd think that! it is actually, very realistic.
> 
> also what the fuck the titles is so irrelevant, i had no fucking idea what to call this
> 
> **quick disclaimer, if you are easily triggered by descriptions of manic episodes, depression, anxiety and panic attacks, i recommend not reading this. please be safe!! also normally the events taking place here would happen over the course of a week or more, or so i've read, but based on personal experience it is much quicker and takes place in the pan of closer to four days. not that the time frame really matters haha
> 
> ONE MORE THING!!! (sorry) this situation portraying a manic episode that leads to symptoms of psychosis (severe delusions, hallucinations) its important to note if you don't know anything about bipolar is that this is NOT something that happens to everyone, and isn't the main part of the disorder. it just CAN happen if mania is left untreated and that particular person is prone to that kind of thing. just keep that in mind!!
> 
> anyway, hope you enjoy :)

One of the worst feelings one can have, is feeling as if they’re a burden to the people they care about the most. Minhyuk struggles with this a lot. He fears, more than anything, being a burden to the people he loves. It’s for this reason that he shut his friends out in his high school days, managing to lose most of them. Not because they didn’t like him anymore, they just drifted apart, and Minhyuk let it happen. He was okay with it. To this day, he  _ prefers  _ it that way. Having friends just makes things harder, especially when they eventually just stop talking to him. What’s the point?

 

There is  _ one  _ friend that always seemed to stay by Minhyuk’s side. That’s his boyfriend, Hyunwoo. They met when Minhyuk was in his second year of high school, and began dating soon after. 

 

Six years. Hyunwoo has stayed with Minhyuk,  _ put up  _ with Minhyuk, for six years. He can’t believe someone would want to stay with him for so long, through his ups and downs, but he’s grateful, and there’s no one who he loves more than he loves Hyunwoo. There’s no one who makes him feel like things will be okay the way Hyunwoo does. Minhyuk  _ knows  _ he can talk to him about anything, and he’s told the younger countless times that, “when something is wrong, when things get bad, tell me. I want to help you.” But Minhyuk, he can’t do that.

 

Despite that fact that Minhyuk  _ knows  _ he should tell Hyunwoo when things don’t feel right, he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to be the burden he knows he’s been for six damn years. He doesn’t want Hyunwoo to get tired of him, to give up on him. He constantly battles with himself, weighing the pros and cons. Should he be open with Hyunwoo, or should he pretend he’s okay whenever he isn’t? 

 

As much as Minhyuk knows he shouldn’t, he always finds himself choosing the latter.

 

Bipolar disorder, type one, with psychotic tendencies. That’s the official diagnosis Minhyuk received the first time he found himself manic with symptoms of psychosis. His psychiatrist had tossed around the idea for a while, unsure if that was what was going on. Until he showed up to an appointment that lead to him being sent straight to the emergency room, after having to be taken to his appointment by Hyunwoo because he couldn’t even  _ function  _ properly. So, he had type one bipolar disorder added to his already extensive mental illness diagnostic list. Wonderful.

 

Minhyuk hates thinking about that time. He doesn’t remember much from his first severe manic episode turned psychotic break, but he knows it was bad. He knows he scared Hyunwoo, and he knows his boyfriend had felt helpless. He feels awful, despite them constantly reassuring him that it’s okay, and it wasn’t his fault. He makes sure to avoid the same thing happening again by taking his medication regularly. When a problem does arise, he’ll take emergency take-as-needed antipsychotics to help bring him back down. It’s a constant battle, but he’s doing okay. He struggles with his anxiety the most, often staying home from school due to crippling panic attacks. Still, he’s doing okay. Hyunwoo is  _ always  _ there for him, and is a constant in Minhyuk’s life that makes him feel  _ normal _ . For that, he’s okay.

 

Sometimes however, things don’t always  _ stay  _ okay.

 

Minhyuk wakes up on a Friday, quickly realizing he’s slept in and is late for his first class. In his rush to get out the door, he realizes while on the bus that he forgot to take his medication. This wouldn’t  _ normally  _ be a huge deal, if he hadn’t also forgotten the night before. He curses to himself, but shakes his head. He’ll be okay.

 

His day goes alright, nothing out of the ordinary. Honestly, he’s a little antsy, but it’s just a bad anxiety day he assumes. He texts Hyunwoo throughout the day, seeing as they don’t go to same school. Hyunwoo is in university, but Minhyuk is just going to his local college. He tried to go for an even higher education, but had to drop out three times due to his mental health. He’s working on recovering more before he tries for a major career goal again. Ironically, he wants to major in psychology. 

 

When he gets home, Minhyuk takes his notes out and studies for a while. He doesn’t normally do this, but he feels motivated, which is a nice change. He quickly rewrites all the notes he’d taken earlier more neatly as well as colour coded. He loves organization. He writes and writes and writes, until he looks at the clock and it’s 9:34pm. His eyes widen. He quickly puts his things away and decides to get out of the house for a while.

 

After walking around for quite some time, Minhyuk finds himself at the convenience store. He browses the aisles, picking up a bag of chips, a chocolate bar, and two energy drinks. He’s  _ knows  _ he’s not supposed to have energy drinks, he’s supposed to avoid caffeine altogether. Still, he buys them on impulse and heads home. 

 

When Minhyuk gets in, Hyunwoo calls. 

 

“What are you up to?” He asks after they share greetings.

 

“Ah, not too much. Just studied then went to the store and got some snacks.” Minhyuk cracks open one of his energy drinks and sips it, then Hyunwoo replies.

 

“What are you drinking?” Minhyuk hears him ask casually, but reading between the lines he can hear a sense of concern that he knows the older is trying to cover up. Hyunwoo knows that Minhyuk used to have a caffeine addiction, where he was going to the convenience store on a daily basis to pick up energy drinks. They were what normally triggered mania in him.

 

“An energy drink, but don’t worry! It’s only one, it’s okay, I just have to study for a test, and I’m tired. I need the extra kick.” The first lie. He hears Hyunwoo sigh over the line.

 

“Minhyuk, you know you’re not supposed to drink those. Are you taking your medication regularly?” He asks, concern now evident in his voice. 

 

“Yes, I swear. Haven’t missed a dose in months.” The second lie. 

 

It’s quiet for a moment before Hyunwoo replies. “Alright, if you say so. I’ll let it go this once, but Minhyuk, please make this the last one. I don’t want to see you go down that road again.” And Minhyuk knows exactly what road he’s talking about.

 

“Stop worrying, it’ll be fine. I promise I’ll tell you if it’s not, okay?”

 

Except he doesn’t. He doesn’t tell Hyunwoo that he doesn’t sleep at all that night. In fact, he spent the entire night reorganizing his entire bedroom. He prints off multiple photos of him and Hyunwoo, him and his old friends, his family, celebrities he likes, even photos of pretty scenery, and sticks them all over his bedroom wall. He admires his work with a smile. 

 

It’s at 8:42am he realizes the sun has come up, and he for a brief moment he feels worried because he should be tired, and he isn’t. That worry is soon dismissed when he gets a notification that a Youtuber he’s subscribed just uploaded a new video. 

 

Maybe the concern for his own well being should return when he has to change the speed of the video to double time because the voices are just talking  _ too slow,  _ and he can comprehend it better when they’re speaking quickly. It doesn’t.

 

Minhyuk debates whether or not to drink his other energy drink. He’s not tired, in fact he’s wide awake. He shrugs to himself anyway and cracks open the other can. By the time it’s finished, Minhyuk’s hands are shaking but he feels  _ great _ . Better than he has for as long as he can remember.

 

Minhyuk spends his Saturday dying his hair. He went out and bought some bleach, and toner as recommended by the employee at the beauty supply store he went to. He bleaches out the brunette colour he’d been sporting for almost a year, then uses the toner to get rid of the brassiness. He’s pleased with the result. He feels so damn  _ good  _ about himself, he feels a confidence he doesn’t remember ever feeling. He sends a few photos his boyfriend of his new look, receiving a text minutes later.

 

**_3:46pm_ ** **\- Hyunwoo:** ur blonde!!! Whaaaaat????? 

 

Minhyuk smiles widely and texts back quickly.

 

**_3:47pm -_ ** **Minhyuk:** yes i am !!!!!!!!! :D :D dO U LIKE IT????!!?!?!

**_3:49pm -_ ** **Hyungwoo:** haha i do, looks great babe <3

 

Minhyuk is so excited that his boyfriend likes his hair. They text back and forth for a while, Minhyuk being only  _ mildly  _ more suggestive than usual. 

 

Minhyuk can’t stop smiling, he feels on top of the world. He sings around his apartment loudly, while making some ramen for dinner. It was the best fucking ramen he’s ever made, if he does say so himself. He tweets a lot, none of the tweets really making much sense but he’s laughing out loud to himself because he’s so fucking  _ funny _ .

 

His night involves pulling up dance tutorials on youtube and trying to learn them. He dances around his living room for hours, falling a few times, but barking out with laughter each and every time. He doesn’t text Hyunwoo for the entire night, but the latter assumes he’s fallen asleep. If only he knew how wrong he was.

 

At 5:26am, there’s a knock at Minhyuk’s door and he pauses his music and runs to get it. 

 

“Yes, can I help you?” He answers cheerfully. It’s his neighbour from down the hall, Hoseok he thinks his name is. He doesn’t look happy.

 

“Hi, I was just wondering if you can like, keep it down? Turn off the fucking music or something? My boyfriend and I are trying to sleep, and you’re starting to  _ really  _ piss him off. Don’t be the reason he’s grumpy at me all day, please.” Minhyuk huffs at this. He finds himself so  _ annoyed _ .

 

“Whatever, maybe you should get your boyfriend some fucking earplugs.” His neighbour looks taken aback by this, but recovers quickly and cross his arms, staring hard at Minhyuk.

 

“Hey, listen, man I just thought maybe you could respect your fucking neighbours a little, and  _ not  _ blast music and scream at the top of your lungs before the goddamn sun is up. Think maybe you can do that?” Minhyuk rolls his eyes.

 

“Sure, whatever.” He slams his door in his neighbours face. He stomps through his apartment and doesn’t bother turning the music back on. 

 

Minhyuk thinks for a minute. What can he do? He could organize the fridge, do the dishes, clean out the cupboards, write a story, watch a movie, go grocery shopping (ah, nothing’s open, nevermind), play a game, make a collage, start a scrapbook, vacuum the living room (actually, that would keep the neighbours up, scratch that), go for a run, or move the furniture. Thoughts are racing through his mind every half second, he can’t choose. He decides to do it all.

 

It goes on like this for four days. It’s on the the fourth day that Minhyuk realizes something is wrong, and he knows he’s let it go too far to change it. He  _ knew  _ from the beginning he was entering into a manic episode, and he should’ve taken his medication. He would’ve, if he knew where the fuck it was. 

 

He supposes he knew after the first night in which he couldn’t sleep, but when he looked for his take-as-needed pills, he couldn’t find them. At that time he assumed it was okay, as he felt  _ incredible, _ completely elated, perhaps invincible. Minhyuk spent the past four days feeling this way, but things were moving so quickly for him that he’d lost all concept of time. 

 

Of course, this feeling never lasts. It’s the afternoon of the fourth day when Minhyuk begins feeling the paranoia. He’s bussing home from school early when he feels an odd sense of familiarity creep it’s way through his bones. He’d left early because yes, he actually went to school that Tuesday, but no, he couldn’t seem to sit still long enough to stay. His professor had looked at him in concern when the boy with dark circles under his eyes explained that he had to go, speaking uncommonly fast and not making all that much sense. She let him go anyways.

 

As he walks to the bus stop, the ground feels like it’s moving; looks like it’s moving, and Minhyuk feels like he’s falling. He tries to ignore it, he knows what this is, but it still begins to frighten him. On the bus, he feels like he isn’t there. Someone asks if they can sit beside him, he feels like they’re talking to someone else. When he replies with, “yeah, sure, of course you can” he feels like it’s someone else speaking, as if he’s out of his own body just watching the scene. He is dissociating in the largest of ways and he feels like he’s floating and nobody can see him.

 

Minhyuk looks around the bus anxiously. He see’s people talking, and plays scenes in his head over and over of each of them pulling out a knife, a gun, out to kill him. He tries to breathe in and out to calm down, but it doesn’t work. The paranoia eats away at him, he closes his eyes as the bus crosses a bridge, convinced the driver will drive them over the rail. His mind keeps telling him that everything is bad, everyone is bad.

 

When he finally gets off the bus, he practically runs for his apartment. When he gets in, he collapses behind the door and tries to catch his breath. He can’t. He breathes, but it’s more like wheezing as he begins to panic. No, no, no, this can’t be happening. Minhyuk wraps his arms around his knees and starts to hyperventilate. He’s having a panic attack.

 

Minhyuk is scared, so scared, as his face flushes red and his chest tightens, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. He’s shaking vigorously, and he begins to sweat. He panics and panics for what feels like hours, but was really only about 15 minutes, before finally he starts to come down from the attack.

 

He thinks maybe, just maybe, he should call his boyfriend. Maybe, just maybe, he needs help, and he can’t do this alone.

 

Minhyuk avoided speaking to Hyunwoo for most of the weekend, keeping it to simple texts because he didn’t want to worry the older. He figured he could take care of himself, and the last thing he wanted was to burden him with this. Because while at the time he was experiencing the highest of highs, he knew in the back of his mind that it was  _ mania,  _ and Hyunwoo would recognize that. Why would anyone want to deal with such an unstable boyfriend? Minhyuk figures they wouldn’t, but now he doesn’t know what to do.

 

He scrambles for his phone and dials Hyunwoo’s number. “Hey, you.” He hears. Minhyuk’s lip begins to tremble at his voice. He needs Hyunwoo so badly.

 

“H-Hyunwoo? I need to tell you something, okay? Please don’t be mad, please. You told me not to, but I did, a-and now it won’t stop, I can’t make it stop. I can’t find my pills, and I’m panicking now, and I haven’t slept in 4 nights, and I don’t know what to do, f-fuck, Hyunwoo, what do I do?” He speaks at a million miles a minute before he gets cut off.

 

“Minhyuk! Calm down, baby, please. Just breathe. What’s happening? Tell me, love.” He says in the soft tone he knows will get through to Minhyuk, but he can’t help the concern he lets slip through.

 

And so Minhyuk tells him. He tells Hyunwoo about how he lied about his medication, the energy drinks, how he couldn’t find his take-as-needed pills, and he explains the behaviours he’s been showing the passed almost five days. He explains that he  _ knows _ he’s deep into a manic episode because the delusions have begun, and he’s so damn  _ scared. _

 

“Alright, I’m coming over. Don’t move.” Hyunwoo pauses for a moment. “I love you.” and then he hangs up, leaving Minhyuk to himself. 

 

He decides to take a shower, as he feels like there are bugs crawling under his skin and he can’t seem to make it stop, and he  _ needs _ it to stop. He tries to be quick as he knows Hyunwoo won’t be long, but when he gets into the shower he just feels worse. He scrubs at his skin, trying to get rid of the ‘bugs’ until he’s raw and sore. His skin burns, but he sees that as good because it  _ must _ have killed the bugs. He gets out to dry off.

 

When he looks in the mirror, Minhyuk begins to panic again. This isn’t him. No, that’s  _ not  _ his face, why does he look so different? He begins to claw at his cheeks and tries to control his anxiety, but he can’t seem to find any agency in this situation, as if his entire body is being taken over.

 

He tears his face away from the mirror and gets dressed quickly. The minute he runs into his living room, Hyunwoo unlocks the door with the spare key given to him by his boyfriend, and even in his current state Minhyuk can can tell how concerned he is in the way he rattles the door unlocked. 

 

Once Hyunwoo is inside, he doesn’t hesitate before wrapping a shaking Minhyuk up into his arms, taking note of the way his hair is wet and his skin is raw. He sighs as Minhyuk buries his face into his chest. “I wish you would’ve told me sooner, why did you wait? You know what, don’t worry about that now, let’s get you sat down. Should I look for your medication?” Minhyuk immediately begins to panic again.

 

“No, no, no! You can’t! Everything is organized, you can’t touch anything, no one can touch anything, please!” He’s screaming, and Hyunwoo is at a loss for words. He’d seen Minhyuk at his worst before, and it looks like it’s happening again.

 

Though he doesn’t know very much about these things, it becomes clear to Hyunwoo very quickly that Minhyuk is becoming psychotic. Over the course of an hour and a half he has to physically hold the smaller boy down to keep him from scrambling off somewhere Hyunwoo can’t see him. One minute he’s rambling on and on about things that make next to no sense, and the next he’s screaming because “I can hear it, they’re coming, I’m going to die, I’m going to fucking die.” It gets to the point where Minhyuk is simultaneously laughing and crying at the same time, and Hyunwoo knows this problem is too big to be handled by him alone.

 

“Minhyuk, love. I think we need to take you to the hospital.” Hyunwoo sees a mixture of fear and gratefulness in Minhyuk’s eyes, as well as a blank look that tells him that he’s not all  _ there _ .

 

Minhyuk cries then. He bursts into loud, ugly tears. He’s shaking, and he can’t breathe. “I-I want it to stop, I’m scared, I want to die, I can’t fucking do this, I’m so scared.” Hyunwoo’s heart breaks. He finds it so difficult to see his boyfriend this way. He curses whoever made such a beautiful and bright boy have to suffer like this. It just isn’t fucking fair.

 

“Shh, it’s okay, it’s going to stop. Let’s take you to the hospital, they’ll help you, I promise.”

 

Hours later, they’re in the emergency room waiting room. Hyunwoo keeps a tight arm around Minhyuk’s shoulder as the boy continues to have bursts of panic, bursts of tears, spending a lot of the time apologizing to him for making him come here. Hyunwoo just shushes him softly, and tries to convince him that, no, the orange juice isn’t poisoned, and no, there’s no cameras in the ceiling tiles.

 

It’s nearing 6am when Minhyuk finally gets evaluated. He explains that he couldn’t find his usual medication as best as he can, and he expects to be locked away in the psychiatric ward. This time though, the doctor gives him some medication to make him tired and calm. It works after a while, he’s drowsy and can think a little more clearly, and they decide to send Minhyuk home as it seems he’s in good hands with Hyunwoo. They do however, ask him to come back and see a doctor the next day to be reevaluated to see if the medication is doing its job longer term, the goal being to bring the manic episode to a stop, and get his sleep back on track.

 

Hyunwoo seems relieved by the news, and they get back to Minhyuk’s apartment just after 7:30 in the morning. By this time, the medication is taking it’s effect on Minhyuk, and he collapses into his bed. Hyunwoo climbs in beside him and hugs him tight from behind. Minhyuk sighs.

 

“I’m sorry, Hyunwoo. You shouldn’t have had to do that. I’m such a burden on you, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for lying, and for making you have to take care of me like this. On a school night and everything. I don’t deserve you.” He says, barely above a whisper. Hyunwoo kisses the back of Minhyuk’s neck softly.

 

“Oh, Minhyuk. Is that what you think? That you’re a burden on me?” When Minhyuk nods lightly, Hyunwoo tsks. “No, that’s not it at all. I wouldn’t be here, or be doing whatever I can to help you if I didn’t want to. You are the most important person in my life, and I love you so much just as you are. I wish you didn’t have to suffer the way you do sometimes, but that’s only because you don’t deserve it, not for my own sake. You’re the light of my life no matter what, Minhyuk, and I’ll  _ always _ be there. Please, tell me when things like this happen, much earlier so I can help before you need to go to the hospital. I was so scared for you today. It’s so hard seeing you like that, but it doesn’t feel like a  _ burden _ at all. You’re never going to be a burden.”

 

Minhyuk turns around in Hyunwoo’s strong arms, looking up at him with exhausted eyes. “Thank you so much. For that, and for being here for me today, and every day. I love you so much.” He whispers, and Hyunwoo gives him a sweet kiss on the forehead. 

 

“I love you, too. Go to sleep now.” He replies quietly, and Minhyuk closes his eyes. 

 

Minhyuk sleeps for hours and hours, catching up on days of lost sleep. Hyunwoo stays, and makes sure the younger takes his medication regularly, eats, and gets all that sleep he needs. He helps him with the depression he often feels after an episode of mania, and tries to keep everything calm and regulated. Despite it taking up a lot of time, he seems genuinely happy to do it, and never fails to tell Minhyuk how much he loves him, and how lucky he is to have someone who shines as bright as him. 

 

When things are back to normal, Minhyuk decides that maybe he’s not a burden after all. Maybe sometimes he can be a lot of handle, but he learns that when someone truly loves you, they don’t mind helping you get through your toughest times. 

  
Minhyuk looks at Hyunwoo, who’s smiling at him with shining eyes, and he knows that just like every other time, it’ll be okay. He’s okay.

**Author's Note:**

> so there's that. i'm not completely satisfied with this if i'm honest. at the same time, i really hope it kind of brings awareness to what being bipolar can be like?? it's not just crazy mood swings, in fact in a lot of cases it's not like that at all. posting this was a little difficult for me, only because a lot of it was based on personal experience. there's a lot of really real emotions in here, and i won't get into detail in the notes, but if you have any questions about mental health or medication or therapy or anything, i'd be happy to try and answer you!! i'm really not secretive at all about these things, i'm actually very open about it because i believe it's something that needs to be talked about. but /writing/ about it, making a character feel that way, was a little hard for some reason.
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoyed!! please feel free to leave any and all feedback, i love taking what people have to say and using it to better my work!! i'll try to write a cute fic next since my last one was kinda sad and this one was really heavy lol though honestly, i live for angst so writing something purely happy might be hard lmao we'll see. 
> 
>  
> 
> **if you're curious as to why energy drinks are significant, and /why/ couldn't minhyuk just not drink them, that's probably the most personal thing about this i guess?? i used to drink four of them a day at most, and it threw me completely off track. since then, even one can trigger mania, but when i'm already hypomanic i experience a lot of impulsivity where i binge on really bad snacks and drink energy drinks when i'm not supposed to. it goes down hill from there. but anyway, thats just a little backstory for that.
> 
> **also, to explain the medication thing, in this story minhyuk is regularly on a medication he has to take twice a day. forgetting even one dose can be negative, so when he forgets a few, things start to decline for him. normally when this happens, he would take a take-as-needed medication that is to be used for these situations and severe panic attacks; however, he can't find it, and he doesn't tell anyone so it just continues. at this point, he still doesn't start back on his regular meds or put in the effort to find his take-as-needed's, because he's /enjoying/ how he's feeling. and that's what mania is for the most part, a feeling of elation, which is why he's happy with it and doesn't even /want/ to fix it. it's actually common for people with bipolar disorder to crave the mania, because before the crash or the psychotic symptoms (if that's part of it), it actually feels fun. 
> 
> AH, one more thing (fuck im sorry lmao) you might be like, "why didnt the hospital keep minhyuk, what the fuck" and the answer is i have no damn clue. my local hospital is shit as fuck and sends people home doped up on meds because theres not enough funding to get more beds and expand the psych ward. i cant tell you how many times i or people i know have needed help and spend hours waiting, just to get fuckin sent home. so thats why he was sent home. his hospital is shit, too
> 
> SORRY TO TALK SO MUCH IN THE NOTES!! i just feel the need to explain a lot of things about my stories, especially when it's content like this. sorry, i know it's annoying lmao


End file.
